Big Idea: Confrontation
I create artwork and lesson plans inspired by my curiosity and interest in advocacy that revolve around the theme of confrontation. Generally my artwork focuses on confronting obstacles I have faced with mental health and dis/abilities as I seek to find coping strategies with the surfacing of new diagnoses throughout my life. With this, I aim to teach children the skills they need to feel empowered by their authentic selves and constantly create inclusion in the classroom while working with students that may have differentiated learning needs. The theme of confrontation is not limited to dis/abilities, but expands to my desire to advocate for environmental concerns even with the limitations I face with my dis/abilities that prevent me from aiding in conservation to the degree that is needed. My overall theme of confrontation in my own work translates into my students as a way for them to understand not to become defeated by any problems they may face, but to rise above and address any area of conflict they may be experiencing to increase healthy communication and understand successful methods of conflict resolution through the vessel of art.
Imperative Studio Work
Before I understood the seeping theme of confrontation in my artwork, I spent a lot of time creating artwork that revolved around areas of comfort. I had always been coping with conflict, yet wasn't confronting those problems until I grew slightly older and gained the skills I needed to do so. Max depicts my best friend growing up as a child who reassured me and gave my comfort when experiencing the stress and trauma I frequently did. As a child, I always took pictures of Max and played with him. When growing up with divorced parents and a plethera of dis/abilites, it was challenging to find humans that understood me or could comfort me the way my dog, Max, could.
Above: “Max”, 2016, pastel. 7.5”h x 10” w.
Each set of textures and pressures are unique to the individual's sensory processing code and may look different from person to person, as does the severity. For me, light touches, along with other tactile sensory information, cause me to experience high levels of anxiety. This is one of the reasons bugs are a major fear of mine; even though they don't scare me like most people. Encountering a bug means unpredictability and possible spikes in anxiety. This series of bugs I have started allows me to become comfortable and confront triggers associated with SPD in order to feel more as ease.
Unknowingly, as I evolved as an artist, I gravitated towards drawing different bugs as they became an aesthetic interest. Underlying in my subconscious was my need to interact intimately with bugs as a means to understand something that provoked high levels of anxiety. I grew up with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), and was not correctly diagnosed until I was in college. This dis/ability can be divided into various internal sensory responses and has two main subcategories (hyposensitivity and hypersensitivity). I have various SPD's, but Tactile Hypersensitivity was and still is the forefront of my anxiety. Tactile Hypersensitivity, is simply what it reads. It is an increased sensitivity to touch, yet it provokes a flight or fight response and causes immense panic when specific textures and/or pressures that the brain relates to panic come in contact with the individual.
Above: “Beetle”, 2017, pen. 10”h x 8”w.
Above: “Float like a Butterfly, Sting like a Bee”, 2017, colored pencil. 8.5”h x 11” w.
Above: “Don't Push my Buttons", 2018. Denim, Buttons, Thread, Acrylic Paint and Doll.
Once I discovered the theme of confrontation in my artwork, I began to think about what art therapy meant for me as opposed to the inherent therapeutic process of making art. As I explained above, Tactile Hypersensitivity was and is the forefront of my anxiety and I wanted to confront this head-on to alleviate any ounce of anxiety that I could. I propelled the idea that my fear may look like another fear such as the idea that emerged from my bug series. In Don't Push my Buttons, I used the fear of clowns, Coulrophobia, and the common association of dolls in scary movies to set the stage for expressing my fear of denim, seams, and buttons that stems from Tactile Hypersensitivity. Through the the art making process, I had to come in contact with all of these materials. I was very anxious to begin the process, yet was surprised by the outcome. While working with the materials, I became very captivated by the art making process that the textures which provoke my mind became numb to my senses. I completed the whole project within one day and felt a sense of relief and accomplishment among completing. Although, as an art educator, I would never recommend that my students take on any type of art therapy, I found the process to be quite rewarding. Through my own curiosity and advocacy, I was able to truly confront my looming dis/ability and discover the internal power I didn't know I had.