Artist Statement
Above: A collage of self portraits I have created over the course of my life.
I find it essential to include a brief biography of myself while writing my artist’s statement because it is deeply intertwined with my art. At age four, my parents got divorced and I experienced trauma frequently living with my mother. I rarely felt safe when I was around her, and enjoyed spending most of my time at school. I genuinely enjoyed school and did very well, yet I always seemed to struggle with language. I would often flip letters when spelling, take an absurdly long to finish reading a book, and struggled to comprehend it when I finished reading. I was tested for dyslexia and was informed that I had ADHD, OCD, anxiety, and depression, not dyslexia. Later when I was in college, I discovered that I had audio processing disorder, tactile defensiveness, and a visual impairment called Nystagmus. Living with all of these diagnoses, some which I was aware of growing up, and some not, impacted my way of living and making art. What I did know from the beginning was that the art making process was therapeutic for me.
My junior high chose me to be a part of their selective art class where I visually represented my obsession with detail and intimacy with paper which relates to my OCD and Nystagmus. This theme in my work continues today. In high school I delved into the minds of musical artists and drew them, for example, Matty Mullins, depicted in Loud; I felt as though I was vicariously living through the poetry they violently sang when struggling with depression. During this period in my life I was confronted with the need to make a decision about my future career path. I was torn between being an astronomer, meteorologist, or biologist. Solar Flare Octopus depicts the connection between these fields as I explored the value of each and struggled to select one that was more important than the others.
Above: Loud, 2013. Graphite. 11” x 14”.
Above: Solar Flare Octopus, 2015. Colored Pencil. 13” x 8”.
I began to study meteorology in college and noticed how difficult it was for me to be outside due to my increasing sensitivity with tactile defensiveness. Anxiety flooded my body when I was softly touched which occurred frequently when bugs touched my skin outside. It was then that I started to draw bugs as a means to feel closer to a subject I knew caused me discomfort. I longed to be comfortable outside where I sought to be rejuvenated like a child; free of any worries. I created bugs using various drawing methods, mostly pen, with the stippling method. I have discovered that this detailed way of working also allows the therapeutic art making process to last longer.
Above: Beetle, 2017. Pen. 8” x 10”.
Above: Float Like a Butterfly, Sting Like a Bee, 2017. Colored Pencil. 8” x 10”.
Currently, I directly discuss the confrontation in my work through self- portraiture in Dermatillomania and my own self-exploration with art therapy as a fine art artist. I have been happy to learn that the art making process provides a calming experience where I feel like I have control when I live in a mind that so often feels out of my control. As a freelance artist, I enjoy the technicality of detail work and the art making process by making wooden signs. I spent most of my time growing up in isolation with my mental illness and realized the importance of storytelling and forming connections with others. Painting wooden signs was one way I began to talk with more people in the community about making art before I took on face painting which helped me become closer to children which enabled me to understand how much they needed a safe space like I had. I genuinely wish to share my story with others and listen to others’ stories as I become a book of narratives to provoke understanding of others’ differences. As I share others’ stories, and my own, I desire to plant a seed of conversation, by confronting difficult topics, in a world that is slowly becoming more disconnected.
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Above: Dermatillomania, 2017. Oil Paint. 2' x 3'.
Above: Unicorn, 2017. Face Paint.
Above: Glass Half Empty, 2017. Pen. 10" x 8".
Above: hope, 2017. Acrylic Paint on Wood. 24" x 16".